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Anonymous Member · 06-29-2009, 05:39 PM

I'm in a bit of a predicament as we speak. I'm 24 and married to a 27 year old. We've been married for 5 months. She's a school teacher and I'm an aspiring professional baseball player. We both know that we want to have kids someday and raise a family, which is part of the reason we got married. I am currently not playing and looking for a team to play with this season, which is almost half over already, and she's still looking for a job as a teacher.

My predicament is this, she wants to have a kid sooner than later and I don't know if I'm at that stage yet. We seem to be in two different places with our lives right now. She's ready to start a family and I'm still trying to pursue my dream to play in the big leagues. I personally think I'm not ready to have kids yet and she thinks that I don't take her feelings into consideration when I make certain decisions. I've been doing some thinking about what I want in life and have come to the conclusion that I want to have a family, but I think I'm not ready. I think we are at two different stages in life right now and she wants to really have a baby. The only problem with that is that we have no money right now. We are getting help until the end of the summer and then I'm going to find a job and hopefully she will as well, but I don't know considering what the state of California is going through with the teaching budget. Thanks Arnold. Anyways, I've been trying to play pro ball for 4 years now. I was a pitcher for 2 and now I'm converting to a hitter, which isn't unheard of but difficult nonetheless. I think this is my last go at it because I'm tired of the bullshit business aspect of baseball. My parents seem to think I should give it another year if this year doesn't work out, which she has a problem with. I've been thinking about what I want to do as well and don't know if I can do that. Her parents are telling her to just let me try and to wait it out but she's told me countless times she's tired of waiting.

She feels that I don't take her feelings and wants/needs into consideration. I.E. starting a family. I think at this stage in my life I'm not ready to have kids. I'll be 25 in August and she'll be 28 in December. Basically, in her eyes, I'm telling her to put her goals and dreams on hold so that I can pursue my career in baseball. It's true to an extent but like she's said before, we're in two different places right now. She wants a family and I still want to play baseball and not have any responsibility is basically what she's telling me. She might have been blinded by the fact that she loved me and wanted to get married so bad that it was kind of put on the back burner. It's putting a huge stress on our marriage as well. She's been really stressed out about not being able to find a job and doesn't think she'll find one this year. It's also affected our love life as well, which is pretty non-existent at this point. I'm really worried about us and we've tossed around the idea of going to couples counseling.

My question to you guys would be how does one know when he/she is ready to be a parent? To be honest, I'm more scared than anything. I don't know if I'm more scared of actually being a father or just the fact that I'm still young. It's hard to think that I'm almost 25. I sometimes ask myself "where did the years go?" Everybody keeps saying "You're too young to have children" and everybody around me is having or has kids of their own. Her two best friends already have kids and my sister-in-law is now pregnant and her sister-in-laws are pregnant. It seems to be the happening thing this year. She's tired of hearing about everybody else being pregnant and she's jealous because she wants a child so bad. I want to give us the pleasure of having one but at the same time I still want to pursue my baseball career. I don't want to get her pregnant just because she wants a kid. I want to WANT to have a kid but I don't know when that will hit me. Am I scared to grow up and face responsibility? I need your advice on what I could do. We just got in a fight because I told her since we're in no situation to have a child that we shouldn't worry about it right now, which pissed her off and she told me that maybe she should care about my baseball career. I know it was the anger speaking but what am I to do?

What do you guys think?

06-29-2009, 05:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Anonymous Member Addict	Am I scared to grow up? HELP! I'm in a bit of a predicament as we speak. I'm 24 and married to a 27 year old. We've been married for 5 months. She's a school teacher and I'm an aspiring professional baseball player. We both know that we want to have kids someday and raise a family, which is part of the reason we got married. I am currently not playing and looking for a team to play with this season, which is almost half over already, and she's still looking for a job as a teacher. My predicament is this, she wants to have a kid sooner than later and I don't know if I'm at that stage yet. We seem to be in two different places with our lives right now. She's ready to start a family and I'm still trying to pursue my dream to play in the big leagues. I personally think I'm not ready to have kids yet and she thinks that I don't take her feelings into consideration when I make certain decisions. I've been doing some thinking about what I want in life and have come to the conclusion that I want to have a family, but I think I'm not ready. I think we are at two different stages in life right now and she wants to really have a baby. The only problem with that is that we have no money right now. We are getting help until the end of the summer and then I'm going to find a job and hopefully she will as well, but I don't know considering what the state of California is going through with the teaching budget. Thanks Arnold. Anyways, I've been trying to play pro ball for 4 years now. I was a pitcher for 2 and now I'm converting to a hitter, which isn't unheard of but difficult nonetheless. I think this is my last go at it because I'm tired of the bullshit business aspect of baseball. My parents seem to think I should give it another year if this year doesn't work out, which she has a problem with. I've been thinking about what I want to do as well and don't know if I can do that. Her parents are telling her to just let me try and to wait it out but she's told me countless times she's tired of waiting. She feels that I don't take her feelings and wants/needs into consideration. I.E. starting a family. I think at this stage in my life I'm not ready to have kids. I'll be 25 in August and she'll be 28 in December. Basically, in her eyes, I'm telling her to put her goals and dreams on hold so that I can pursue my career in baseball. It's true to an extent but like she's said before, we're in two different places right now. She wants a family and I still want to play baseball and not have any responsibility is basically what she's telling me. She might have been blinded by the fact that she loved me and wanted to get married so bad that it was kind of put on the back burner. It's putting a huge stress on our marriage as well. She's been really stressed out about not being able to find a job and doesn't think she'll find one this year. It's also affected our love life as well, which is pretty non-existent at this point. I'm really worried about us and we've tossed around the idea of going to couples counseling. My question to you guys would be how does one know when he/she is ready to be a parent? To be honest, I'm more scared than anything. I don't know if I'm more scared of actually being a father or just the fact that I'm still young. It's hard to think that I'm almost 25. I sometimes ask myself "where did the years go?" Everybody keeps saying "You're too young to have children" and everybody around me is having or has kids of their own. Her two best friends already have kids and my sister-in-law is now pregnant and her sister-in-laws are pregnant. It seems to be the happening thing this year. She's tired of hearing about everybody else being pregnant and she's jealous because she wants a child so bad. I want to give us the pleasure of having one but at the same time I still want to pursue my baseball career. I don't want to get her pregnant just because she wants a kid. I want to WANT to have a kid but I don't know when that will hit me. Am I scared to grow up and face responsibility? I need your advice on what I could do. We just got in a fight because I told her since we're in no situation to have a child that we shouldn't worry about it right now, which pissed her off and she told me that maybe she should care about my baseball career. I know it was the anger speaking but what am I to do? What do you guys think?