squeeeb

there have been a few times when i've felt so bad, i just wanted to cry. i couldn't. i wanted to but just couldn't. it was frustrating, like having to get out a sneeze and you can't. i just wanted it out of me, and it wouldn't happen. i have no problems with crying, it's natural, it's supposed to be a great stress release valve, it's supposed to be healthy. perhaps i have some weird repressed notion that crying makes me weak? i've never been told that, nor do i believe it, but maybe my subconscious has other ideas? i cried at my friend's funeral, that was the last time (and one of the only times since my pre-21 year old days) i cried, but it was different circumstances, i was crying for someone, not for myself.

do you think that matters? do you think the situation/reason for crying matters?

i haven't wanted to cry in a while though, so i don't know if i still cant.

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onward to mayhem!