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If one of my friends or family members tried to kill themselves over and over, I'd be pretty frustrated and ready to give up too. You're selfishly fucking with others' emotions and that shit's hard to deal with.
It sounds to me like you're not trying to off yourself, you're crying out for help and then denying said help when it comes.
It really can't be said better than cyn said it: Fix yourself and then work on your relationships with others.
I don't mean to be a dick, but you need to stop this for your own, and those around you's sake. Either finish the deed and let the people you care about be hurt, but eventually move on, or get a helmet, deal with life, and stop trying to bring those you care about down.
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For the record, I have been through very similar situations in my life. It took very blunt, honest advice like I just gave to open my eyes. That's why I offer the same to you.
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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager
"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
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