Hyacinthe

Zeraph The reason I say to stay away from those sites is because alot of the people there actually aren't into the lifestyle they just go on there and treat anyone that identifies themself as being submissive like crud. Agnos only knows why but I forget how many random "so slut / bitch/ slave tell me how you would please me" etc etc messages I got. I'm sorry just because I am submissive does not give people the right to talk to me that way especially when I have stated that I am in a relationship, that's not only an insult to me but to my Dom / partner. As far as I am concerned Doms and Dommes worthy of the name do not behave that way.

What I would advise is to try to find some local groups, your local sex store should know about them or alot of them do have online message board type things. Those are fine and if you see any mention of munches of the like you've probably found a relatively good group. Those are the people that tend to take the submission / Domination lifestyle more seriously but are open minded enough to know that not everyone will.

Without a specific area to work with then I can't really recommend groups but I live the perhaps the prudiest city in Australia and I can think of 5 places here I would advise people to go and a few more 'corporations' that cater towards people with those tendencies. unfortunately you usually need to know someone before you'll be allowed entry - usually to keep the posers away.

If you do decide to meet someone from online then be smart about it - crowded place ( I used to meet with them at a mall coffee shop) during the day. Try to make sure they leave first so you don't have to worry about them following you to your car (That was a hard lesson to learn) and state from the outset that you don't intend to go grab a hotel room or something straight away.

Talk to the other person abut what they expect from the relationship - if like me you're a sub you do have to be careful about this. You have to be able to trust the other person to respect your limits and know enough about the equipment they are using and how much damage it will really do. Last thing you want is for them to synch a strap wrong and dislocate your shoulder or jaw, and that's at the best at worst it could be an improperly arranged love swing and you could suffocate ( yes that has happened - obviously not to me though). You can't afford any of that online bending of the truth that so often happens on chat rooms when it could effect your physical, mental and emotional safety permanently.

If you just want online fun then chat rooms are great but if you want a serious relationship they tend to be a waste of time atleast in my experience and those of every one I know in RL who has tried that route. That's why I advise people to not bother.

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