HI,
I have been married for 17 years...and I have felt like you feel many times. I am in a wonderful place in my marriage now. For me, marriage is a lifetime commitment that I made. I have fallen in love with my husband and also fallen out of love with him but I could never imagine my life without him. He does things that irritate me and I do things that irritate him. But we are on a journey. There have been many times when my husband wanted to make love and there was no way he was getting any.
Been there?? My husband also hasn't been much help along the home front. We have two boys that are now 14 and 12. Over the years, he has "learned" to help more because he wanted us to do things together. Well, we couldn't do those things together until I finished what needed to be done so he learned that if he helped me, it would go quicker. I have also screamed, yelled, threatened to call his mother, anything I could do to get him to help. He would be better for a while and then go back to the way he was. I guess after all these years, things don't bother me the way they did in the early days. I think my attitude changed instead of me thinking "he's not doing this", I am thinking "what else can I do for him". It has helped since the focus is no longer on me.
One thing that has really helped my sex life is to read. I love romance and it is so easy to get caught up in a good book or online material (fanfiction.net). Rated M material is the best!!!!!!
It sounds like you have a husband who loves you, finds you sexually attractive, and doesn't seem to be bothered when you yell and scream at him. Don't throw away a good thing for custody battles, hurt feelings and who knows what else. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Since you have children, you will always be connected with your husband even if you don't live together. Try and make things work and you will be rewarded in the end.