snowy

My Boomer parents weren't soft on me either. Certainly, they've helped me out when I needed it, but they always encouraged me to try new and difficult things, and allowed me to do a lot of things other parents probably wouldn't have allowed. For instance, they let me go to an all-night rave my senior year of high school. Their thinking was that I turned 18 in two months, and after that point, I would be able to go to a rave with or without their permission; they wanted me to have a safety net in case I needed it, and they wanted their guidance to be available to me if I felt I needed it. But they also knew that they had done a good job of raising me and that I would make good decisions (I did).

My parents did what good parents do--they defined the boundaries between parent/child well when I was young, and only lessened that boundary as I matured, and they felt able to be more my friend than parent. I now consider my parents some of my best friends. They were not permissive parents in that they allowed me to do whatever I wanted, but if I asked permission respectfully, I was generally allowed to do what I wanted. There were exceptions--I remember missing 1 dance in high school because I was grounded, so I did get in trouble once in a while.

We were allowed to roam freely within our neighborhood growing up, provided we told Mom or Dad when we would be home, or responded when they yelled for us. During this time, it was not uncommon for me to be busy building forts with the neighbor boy and using his machete to cut down small trees.

Suffice it to say--my parents are not the overprotective, coddling sort.

I did meet a kid recently who said his parents only allowed him to use a butter knife--he's 9 years old. That's a little extreme to me. Personally, I think kids are better off knowing how to handle a knife, especially in the kitchen; they are one of the sharpest objects in the household, and they ought to know how to use a knife safely. I was allowed to cut up food using our tiny paring knife when I was 5-6 years old; sure, I cut myself, but I certainly wasn't grievously hurt, and I learned not to cut towards myself again.

I also know a lot of parents in this community who won't let their children walk home from school by themselves, despite the fact they are 9-10 years old and perfectly capable. We also live in a really safe community, and as long as you educate children as to the dangers they may face when out and about and how to seek help should they need it, it's really not a big deal. It's also good exercise for them. One thing I don't see around town that I would like to are "safe house" signs for kids--I guess they have gone out with cell phones, but when I was growing up, people could sign up to be a "safe house" for kids walking home from school, so in case a kid had an accident there was a first aid kit and a telephone close by. I don't see people looking out for one another any more--we're all too suspicious. We need to remember that it does take a village to raise a child.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau