Quote:
Originally Posted by *Nikki*
I am tired of giving him instruction on how to do everything with our child and with his lack of effort around the house. I have talked to him many times about these things, and they will change for a little bit, then go right back to where they were.
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Well, we've been married for 2.5 years (together for almost 5 now) and no kids yet, so not your ideal responder either... but I can say that I have experienced frustration along those lines in my marriage. And yeah, when things like that bother me, they REALLY bother me. It usually all comes out in a big intense, emotional conversation where we lay out how each other's behavior makes each of us feel, and what ways we can both try to do things better in the future. And I often feel like I have no hope for the situation, when the conversations begin... and it often feels like we're having the same conversation over and over again... but things do change.
It's a slow evolution, I'll admit... and it's one of the many reasons that I *don't* want children yet, because I don't think we're ready to handle one as a balanced team. I still think I'd end up doing the majority of the work no matter what, and until that feeling changes, I won't be willing to bring a baby into the mix. I can't imagine what that's like for you, when he's unable to take on his 50% of the responsibility for that being.
Ktsp and I are still working on it--I think we always will be--but as long as there is some improvement over time, it's still very much a positive situation and those warm fuzzies always seem to come back once the air has been cleared of resentment and expectations. Counseling (both individually and as a couple) gave us a lot of communication tools that I think we would be totally up shit creek without... I highly recommend getting in there, if you and your husband are open to it. There's certainly no harm in trying, if you're at a point where you are starting to resent your husband at that level.