Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Overweight, sex, and relationship (pls help).

Slims · 03-11-2009, 02:19 PM

Ok, it's not 'bad forms of communication' on behalf of the original poster.

His GF has a weight issue and is obviously aware and self-conscious about it. At the same time she isn't willing to put out the effort required to actually do anything about it (or she wouldn't have a weight problem).

That's entirely her fault. That he tried to provide her with a way out of a 'growing' problem is no knock on him.

I don't know what to tell you except don't beat yourself up about this. If the relationship can't handle honest discussions about health, attractiveness, and other life issues then you don't need to be in it.

Cynthetiq:

I do have crooked teeth, and while they don't bother me I wouldn't be offended if my wife gave me a gift certificate for a dentist...If it would improve me in her eyes it would be worth doing. Also, it would be a gift I could use (just as the OP's girlfriend could certainly have used the Gym membership).

I have been in a school for the last two months and really haven't worked out the way I normally do since early December. I have put on a few pounds (and not the good kind) and I just reached a point where I said enough is enough. I am now working out for at least an hour a day, sometimes twice. Additionally my wife told me last night I no longer have the definition I used to have due to an increase in belly fat. It's honest, and since it is TRUE I am not about to be offended by it. Instead I am working to correct the problem. If my wife bought me a gym membership I would be greatful.

Relationships are a mutual contract and I see absolutely on reason why one party should just sit around and do nothing while the other eats their way into being single...if he cares about her he should be honest and allow her an opportunity to correct her behavior before kicking her to the curb. The same goes for him if he decided to start smoking, doing hard drugs, or getting fat also as they are all unattractive behaviors.

03-11-2009, 02:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Ok, it's not 'bad forms of communication' on behalf of the original poster. His GF has a weight issue and is obviously aware and self-conscious about it. At the same time she isn't willing to put out the effort required to actually do anything about it (or she wouldn't have a weight problem). That's entirely her fault. That he tried to provide her with a way out of a 'growing' problem is no knock on him. I don't know what to tell you except don't beat yourself up about this. If the relationship can't handle honest discussions about health, attractiveness, and other life issues then you don't need to be in it. Cynthetiq: I do have crooked teeth, and while they don't bother me I wouldn't be offended if my wife gave me a gift certificate for a dentist...If it would improve me in her eyes it would be worth doing. Also, it would be a gift I could use (just as the OP's girlfriend could certainly have used the Gym membership). I have been in a school for the last two months and really haven't worked out the way I normally do since early December. I have put on a few pounds (and not the good kind) and I just reached a point where I said enough is enough. I am now working out for at least an hour a day, sometimes twice. Additionally my wife told me last night I no longer have the definition I used to have due to an increase in belly fat. It's honest, and since it is TRUE I am not about to be offended by it. Instead I am working to correct the problem. If my wife bought me a gym membership I would be greatful. Relationships are a mutual contract and I see absolutely on reason why one party should just sit around and do nothing while the other eats their way into being single...if he cares about her he should be honest and allow her an opportunity to correct her behavior before kicking her to the curb. The same goes for him if he decided to start smoking, doing hard drugs, or getting fat also as they are all unattractive behaviors. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence Last edited by Slims; 03-11-2009 at 02:31 PM..