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Originally Posted by highdro69
Well first, I would just calm down and wait for the actual test results. A cut isn't an open sore. She could have a completely different, noncommunicable disorder that causes her wounds to heal improperly, and girls do knick themselves from time to time down there when shaving. So bottom line there, chill out heh.
Secondly, to go forward you're going to have to decide how you actually feel about her.
Personally, I don't see how there's any way in the world someone could fall that deeply in love with someone on-line, in only half a year at that, to the point where something so serious as a non-curable disease wouldn't change things. You're not a bad person if her having it affects your opinion of and feelings towards her.
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Yeah, I know it's not a "for sure" thing... but it seems the likeliness of it is pretty good being that one of the guys she was with was with a lot of girls in the past for one-nighters. So, it's not just how many partners she's had, but how many partners all of those guys have had. But yeah, I keep forgetting that there is a chance that she doesn't have it.
And I know what I may have said about me feeling the same about her might seem weird, given that I'm so concerned, but I meant it as in I'll still like her for all the same reasons, but things might have to be taken a lot more slower and a lot more cautiously.
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Originally Posted by Anonymous Member
This advice may or may not be applicable, but here goes anyways:
Who cares? My wife has herpes. It's not a big deal. She told me when we started dating, we used a condom until we got engaged, then stopped--it wasn't worth the annoyance. The extent of its affect on our life is that she had to take valtrex the last couple months of her pregnancy to ensure she didn't have an outbreak when she gave birth. I may or may not have it, we don't know, and I don't particularly care. Neither of us has had an outbreak. I'd say the cold she's currently battling has had more of an impact on our life than the herpes.
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That advice is very applicable. If her and I are compatible in person, your story is how I "want" our story to be told. I've been doing a lot of research on the virus, but a lot of it doesn't really say how much it affects people's lives other than the emotional discomforting part of having it for life, but if I'm with her forever it won't have an emotional effect on me. But, if I did get it and we broke up, I'd feel it'd be unethical to have sex with another woman and not tell her I might have herpes, or if I were tested and I knew I have it for a fact, I don't think many women would want to take the chance...