Gonna try to make this short.
* Online relationship for half a year, never met in person due to far distance, but will in 2 months.
* I've never had a girlfriend, she's had 4 boyfriends in the past.
* We fell in love with each other, as much as you can being online, but we are both aware that we have to wait and see what we're like in person.
* I trust her 100%, and I know she's never lied about anything important. She tells me everything bad and everything good, very open.
So anyways, on Friday she called me while she was on break at school, she was in a happy mood, except she hated her annual "exam". Anyways, later that night, she told me that her doctor thinks she might have genital herpes, because of an open cut or something, and she knows that it's a possibility. She was really, really, really upset about it, saying she doesn't know how she could live with herself if she has it, because no one will want to love a disgusting person like her, and everyone will think she's a slut... She's so upset about it, she kept saying if she had HSV-2 that she'd kill herself, and I've never heard her talk like that. She's the type of girl that's done almost everything right in life to be a good person, and she feels this takes it all away. I know she wouldn't kill herself, because of her strong family values, so that's not really my concern.
1). I told her, I still love her and it's not going to change what I think of her, and we are going to meet like were going to before and see how things go. She was like, literally shocked that I still wanted to have anything to do with her, and like, ever since this she's been saying how much she loves me more often and stuff like that. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing; is she loving me more just because that many other guys wouldn't want to be with someone with herpes, so that I'm like one of her only choices now? :\
2). Here's the thing... I'm not sure what to do or how to feel... I love this girl's morals and values in life, they are everything I wanted in a woman. I'm aware that she may not be "the one", but I'm really willing to give it a shot, because there's nothing I don't like about her. But this kinda of puts me in an odd position now... We joked about having sex the first day we meet in person - since we've known each other for 7 months and we are both attracted to each other - then later found out we both were serious about doing that... Well, if she does have herpes, that's totally out of the question for me on the first day now, or even the first week, so that sucks for me and her because she'll know it's because of the herpes.
I'm not concerned that, "oh, I can't have sex with someone the first day I meet." I'm concerned that, if we date and fall in love in person, and I "feel" like we'll be together for life and we have sex, then if we break up at some point, there's a good chance that I could be infected with the virus too. I know, condoms are a pretty safe alternative, but they aren't 100% preventative, and I guess I couldn't go down on her without risking getting it. Getting herpes while only have had sex with one person exclusively in life, would ruin me. It's been hard enough to even get this girl to like me, let alone another girl with good values that would want me with herpes.
I don't know what to do... If I were guaranteed I'd be with her for life, I wouldn't mind risking getting herpes. But, nobody knows the future, and even if we stay together for 5 years, it could end, and I'd be stuck with this awful virus that nobody wants to accept... And, I don't want to have a relationship without any sex. And, I'd eventually want to make a baby with her, so the condom would have to come off at some point or another... I don't know what to do...
