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When you are attracted to someone, the stakes are higher, so perhaps out of a fear of rejection, or a fear of ruining the fantasies in your head about that person you are attracted to, you end up over thinking things and how to measure up. Or maybe you are insecure about being with someone who in your mind could have anyone they wanted. And then when you are with someone who isnt as attractive to you you can just be yourself, without thinking about whether that person would reject you or threatened by other girls. External beauty can be a powerful thing, and being with someone who is constantly getting the attentions of others can bring up all sorts of insecurities about ourselves.
Or, on a lighter note, it could be that Kevin Smith was right when he advised all girls to go for the fat guys.
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