Puttz

Some excellent points have been made in this thread... by no means do I consider myself an 'expert' in relationships, however in my 25 years I've gotten more experience than most, with a wide variety of relationships. I'm very fortunate to have discovered so early in life what it takes many others a very long time to discover.

Being someone’s partner is about so much more than just being married, or living together, or having kids together. No matter type kind of relationship you consider yourself to be in you need to have a connection. Honesty, and openness are essential, and without effective communication no relationship can be healthy.

You may start out in one type of relationship, and end up in another, or realize that this just isn't for you, and therefore that partner is not truly compatible with you. That's what dating is all about, seeking out others so that you may find the one person or perhaps several (in the case of poly) that you really connect with and are compatible with for the long-term.

I very much have to agree with [/i]Hyacinthe[/i], there is no best kind of relationship, there is only whatever works best for you and your partner. For some it is one thing for others it is another. For many this will change as they mature, and their life changes. It's also quite possible for a mixture of the types you have laid out.


Polyamourous individuals may also enjoy swinging, a couple that is primarily monogamous may enjoy adding a 3rd periodically, etc.
For the sake of discussion, here are my personal views on the types of relationships specifically asked about in the poll:
For the record I chose swinging in the poll, but that's just because that is the lifestyle that works best for my wife and I, who have been together since we were 17.


Celibacy Abstention from sexual intercourse
This isn't a type of relationship, but rather a non relationship... perhaps there are individuals are consider themselves to be celibate life partners, but I don't know enough about this to comment with any sort of real insight. I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has chosen this as a lifestyle. (not angsty kids who just haven't gotten laid yet) but people who have made the conscious and thought-out decision to take all sexual intercourse off the table permanently

Lifetime monogamous the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime
It is my belief that the reason most choose monogamy is because that is what society, their parents, their church, etc, have taught them since childhood. One man for one woman, that is the way, departure from this path makes you a heathen who is going to burn in hell, or at the very least a social misfit.

However bitter as that sounds, I don’t dislike monogamy. A large percentage of monogamous relationships are healthy, the individuals involved are happy and very committed to each other. There is no reason to separate love from sex, they are always making love. They do not need to be concerned with the issues that can arise from being intimate with more than one partner. There is no such thing as an easy relationship, they all require work, but one way to describe it would be less to get in the way, thus allowing people to truly concentrate on making their relationship healthy and fulfilling.


Serial monogamy
Frankly, I see this as dating, with the intentions of finding the right someone, and setting into some lifetime monogamy. My views are primarily the same as for lifelong monogamy. However, a life long serial monogamist would (in my mind) indicate someone unwilling, or afraid to commit, an individual who is unable to let someone get truly close to them


Polygamous the practice of multiple marriage
Polyamory [/i] consensual, ethical, non-monogamy [/i]
I had to put both in there, as the terms often get used interchangeably. I do not know much about to old school polygamy (think Mormon multiple wives) so I will keep my comments limited to Polyamory. I suppose this kind of relationship, is pretty controversial. Swingers tend to think that love is for one person only, your spouse, while sex can be enjoyed freely with whomever. Monogamists tend to think you should only ever love, or have physical relationships with one single person. Polyamorous (or just Poly) individuals see no reason to separate. From their point of view, Love is natural, loving more than one person is also natural, and having sexual relationships with those you love is also natural and accepted.

Not being in a Poly relationship I can’t really write too intelligently about this topic. I know that it is not always an easy road, but can be very rewarding and fulfilling if the right people find each other. A common misconception is that Poly = swinging, or that people who identify as Polyamorous are having sex with a great many people. Actually it’s very similar dynamic as monogamy, the closeness and love, and so on. What differentiates is the ability to embrace your spouse, or self falling in love with multiple people. Just as with monogamy, the love and connection and mental intimacy comes first and foremost.


Commune Group
I just don’t know… anyone care to fill me in?


Swinging non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity
I absolutely love that description, it’s really pretty perfect. Non swingers go out, have a drink, chat, and then go home. We go out, have a drink, and then go home and fuck each other. LOL
I could easily write more about this subject than anything else previously (and if requested I can start an ask / tell thread about swinging if one doesn’t already exist) but because I’ve already written a freakishly huge post I will keep it short.

Swinging is all about the social & physical aspects of casual (or semi casual) sex. Swingers rarely make deep emotional connections, occasionally very great friendships are made though. Think of this no differently when best friends hang out, we just also enjoy sex with each other. We allow our friendships to become physical. In my social group it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to tell my buddy his wife his hot and I’d like to do all kinds of things to her.

I love my wife very deeply, we have a great relationship. As a matter of fact swinging has brought us closer together… we are not “on the outs” or disinterested in each other in anyway. We love sharing each other, and having new experiences, learning new things, and meeting new people. Variety is the spice of life, why does that have to stop at the bedroom door?

An interesting observation about couples who swing, those who have been doing it for any length of time almost always have very secure and stable relationships. Swinging quickly weeds out people that are not emotionally mature. Swinging makes a great relationship stronger, and will tear to shreds a relationship with issues.



hahaha, oh, by the way, Hi, I'm new here :P