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Sexual Behaviour - How much of it is learned?
I was thinking about the way people act during sexual intercourse or in the moments leading up to it. How much of what we do is actually something we instinctively feel compelled to do and how much of it is something we saw someone else doing (in photos or film, written text, or even real life)?
To be honest, I have no idea for myself. I can only say that the first sexual experience I had was totally instinctive as I had never had any contact with anything sexual, visually speaking, before. But since that, I feel that the more I have seen and learned, the more I have acquired certain ways of doing things. And in a way, I don't like it. Sometimes I feel like it's putting on a performance. Lots of it is good, and when I'm into the sex, it's all good and I know I am reacting more naturally. The fact that these days we all have access to porn of all kinds and there are these amazing women with perfect bodies who do crazy sexual stunts, leads us all (as women, I can't say for men), to try to achieve certain things we'd probably never dream of doing, or want to do, had we not felt pressured into it to some degree, in the hopes of 'competing' for men's attention.
So how much of what you do, sexually, do you think, is coming from your own natural instincts? And how much of it did you pick up from somewhere? Does it all feel the same to you, is it all natural, regardless? Do you feel pressured to learn so that you can be 'better in the sack'?
Sometimes I wish I didn't have access to so much information and wasn't so shaped by society. We all are, to some extent. But then, though simplicity can mean that you are happy with less, the key, to me, is in finding the simplicity/satisfaction once you have a greater amount of knowledge. But, it's no easy task.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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