dualman7

I'll never forget the day Anne approached me.


I should start off by saying that I'm in my mid 20's and a pretty shy guy. Every relationship I've ever been in was a result of the girl pursuing me (which equals very few relationships).


I've been working at the same place for a couple years. I'm not a very social person--I don't go out with co-workers because I just don't feel comfortable in those kinds of situations. .

Basically; I come to work, keep to myself while i do my job, and leave.


It had been like this as long as I'd been there.

One day I show up, and there are two women sitting at my desk and giggling. One of them was Anne, our office secretary. We had all known each other, but it was never more than a hi and bye type of deal. As i was unpacking my stuff, still confused as to why they were at my desk, Anne began asking me all kinds of questions about what I do. Eventually her friend would leave, while Anne would spend most of her free time at my desk over the next week. We talked about all kinds of things and got to know about each other's lives.

This was my last week at work before summer vacation. I was going to spend the summer at my parents' house in another city. I told Anne that i would love for her to come and visit me sometime during the summer. My parents' house was an hour bus ride from her home, so she could go back the same day.

To my amazement, she came. I took her everywhere I could think of. I enjoyed spending time with her so much that i invited her to come out the following week.


Amazingly she came again--and again we had a great time hanging out.

In my mind, i knew that i was falling hard for this girl. In my heart, I didn't think she felt that way about me. She's a beautiful smart girl who any guy would be lucky to have, and while I'm a nice a guy--I'm nothing to write home about.

So I made a decision that instead of pursuing her romantically and likely losing her from my life entirely, i would just be friends and nothing more. We continued to hang out probably once per week throughout the summer, until she began to bail on me.

It was pretty disrespectful in the ways it was done and I knew that i was beginning to lose her even as a friend. I accepted that and was just having the summer of my life with my childhood friends.

One day towards the end of the summer, i got a sudden urge to invite Anne over and finally tell her how I felt. I decided that since i wasn't going to have her as a friend, I might as well tell her how i feel, or regret it for the rest of my life.

She agreed to come, and we spent the day together. As I was taking her home, I knew if i didn't tell her now, I never would. I had played this moment dozens of times in my head leading up to it, and now here it was. I wasn't sure if i could do it.

Somehow, I blurted out "I really enjoy your company. I've thought long and hard about this. And What do you think about letting me take you to a real dinner, as more than just friends?"

The reaction was not something i was ready for. Imagine telling a 6 year old that Santa Clause was fake, and getting a swift NO WAY!

It was similar to that, followed by the statement that she wasn't ready to date and wanted to be friends.

The ride back to her home was probably the most awkward hour of my life.


We have not hung out after that. When i see her at work, I just say hello and keep walking. There have been a couple instances where we got stuck in an elevator together and briefly spoke.

She has a boyfriend now and i see them together all the time.

It's been 5 months since I told Anne how I feel. When I have a moment to myself, I'm still get attacked by thought of what I could have done differently to have had a chance with the girl of my dreams.