Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

dalnet22 · 01-01-2009, 08:50 PM

I'm looking for outside opinions here. I'm getting older, and I'm moving out of the house this next summer as I transition to grad school. As such, my Mom is an adult who can do whatever she wants. I have no right to tell her what to. Still, I get frustrated.

Outside of cleaning around the house, all she does is watch TV. She used to have 4 VCRs going at once, claiming she was recording important stuff. There are boxes upstairs of VHS tapes, and we're now down to one working VCR. She's moved away from recording so much, but she still sits and watches reality shows, day time soap operas and talk shows, dramas, everything. This isn't anything new - I never noticed it as I grew up, but TV was the family's main thing. My Mom and Dad are married and "get along", but they have nothing in common. My Mom always tells me that she wishes she had married someone else. I tell her that's mean because I would be completely different, but she doesn't think so. Of course, all that matters to her is having a kid. The kind of life I've lead isn't the important part - either way, she'd have a kid with whoever she married.

That's going off on a tangent. The second problem is her lack of motivation to do what she says she will do. She says she's going to sell stuff on eBay. She has saved everything for years and years, so we have plenty of crap to sell. I've pushed her to do it a few times, even getting her to sell an item or two. But, I can't get the ball rolling. She's purchased numerous exercise machines and little 19.99 TV specials that look enticing to her. But she has never used those things with may an exception or two. She told her sister today that she is going to get organized, but my Dad just laughed, knowing that will never happen.

She claims she doesn't walk our dogs because she doesn't like it where we live. She said when we move to a warmer climate, she'll take them out and get exercise. But, she also said that in the previous place we lived. Granted, we moved to the current location because of in state tuition for my college. But, we live in a safe, small neighborhood. And it's plenty warm and sunny in the summer, ,yet she's never walked them.

We own some very expensive furniture and carpets. So my Mom keeps the dogs locked up in the tile kitchen so that they won't ruin the furniture. And still, she keeps our $1000 rug rolled up in the corner to protect it from getting damaged. She also covers our nice chairs and couches with blankets so that we don't ruin them. I know old people cover their furniture with plastic and all that, but it's ridiculous. My Mom likes having expensive things just for the sake of having them. She never uses anything or allows anything to get worn in.

Basically, my Mom lives at home with no friends, and can do so because my Dad makes a ton of money. I worry that when he dies, she'll become just like the mom Requiem for a Dream. If you've ever seen that, you'll know what I'm talking about. The mom doesn't have anything but her son, and she's obsessed with this game show on TV. I won't ruin the movie...

I am frustrated with my Mom. Am I out of line to try and change her? She has good intentions, but she spoiled me and told me very cruel things as I grew up (such as how she hates my Dad and wishes she hadn't met him). So, I'm concerned about when I have children. She'll want to baby sit and take care of them, but I don't think that'd be a great idea. If she changed and became a more motivated, social person, I would be more comfortable with the idea of her influencing my children.

Am I out of line? She I let her be?

01-01-2009, 08:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
dalnet22 Crazy	Frustrated with my Mom I'm looking for outside opinions here. I'm getting older, and I'm moving out of the house this next summer as I transition to grad school. As such, my Mom is an adult who can do whatever she wants. I have no right to tell her what to. Still, I get frustrated. Outside of cleaning around the house, all she does is watch TV. She used to have 4 VCRs going at once, claiming she was recording important stuff. There are boxes upstairs of VHS tapes, and we're now down to one working VCR. She's moved away from recording so much, but she still sits and watches reality shows, day time soap operas and talk shows, dramas, everything. This isn't anything new - I never noticed it as I grew up, but TV was the family's main thing. My Mom and Dad are married and "get along", but they have nothing in common. My Mom always tells me that she wishes she had married someone else. I tell her that's mean because I would be completely different, but she doesn't think so. Of course, all that matters to her is having a kid. The kind of life I've lead isn't the important part - either way, she'd have a kid with whoever she married. That's going off on a tangent. The second problem is her lack of motivation to do what she says she will do. She says she's going to sell stuff on eBay. She has saved everything for years and years, so we have plenty of crap to sell. I've pushed her to do it a few times, even getting her to sell an item or two. But, I can't get the ball rolling. She's purchased numerous exercise machines and little 19.99 TV specials that look enticing to her. But she has never used those things with may an exception or two. She told her sister today that she is going to get organized, but my Dad just laughed, knowing that will never happen. She claims she doesn't walk our dogs because she doesn't like it where we live. She said when we move to a warmer climate, she'll take them out and get exercise. But, she also said that in the previous place we lived. Granted, we moved to the current location because of in state tuition for my college. But, we live in a safe, small neighborhood. And it's plenty warm and sunny in the summer, ,yet she's never walked them. We own some very expensive furniture and carpets. So my Mom keeps the dogs locked up in the tile kitchen so that they won't ruin the furniture. And still, she keeps our $1000 rug rolled up in the corner to protect it from getting damaged. She also covers our nice chairs and couches with blankets so that we don't ruin them. I know old people cover their furniture with plastic and all that, but it's ridiculous. My Mom likes having expensive things just for the sake of having them. She never uses anything or allows anything to get worn in. Basically, my Mom lives at home with no friends, and can do so because my Dad makes a ton of money. I worry that when he dies, she'll become just like the mom Requiem for a Dream. If you've ever seen that, you'll know what I'm talking about. The mom doesn't have anything but her son, and she's obsessed with this game show on TV. I won't ruin the movie... I am frustrated with my Mom. Am I out of line to try and change her? She has good intentions, but she spoiled me and told me very cruel things as I grew up (such as how she hates my Dad and wishes she hadn't met him). So, I'm concerned about when I have children. She'll want to baby sit and take care of them, but I don't think that'd be a great idea. If she changed and became a more motivated, social person, I would be more comfortable with the idea of her influencing my children. Am I out of line? She I let her be?