pan6467

So, where to start this one.

Today was a somewhat painfree day. Well, more like a day the pain was bearable. My arm wasn't falling off.

Anyway, humour, must type humour.... I use the "U" because in another life I truly believe I was a British actor/poet who came from a great family but had no sense of humour and disdained life. Therefore I was a lousy actor who died alone in seclusion. But Monty Python stole all my ideas and Ray Davies and John Lennon stole all my poetry.

Well, it could have happened.

Let's start with talking about the first time I met some very close friends... well, to me they were close, they on the other hand took bets as to what age I would either be dead or judged insane and put into a state hospital.

I think the first will be the one who taught me to inhale...... FLOUNDER/SCOTT

Edit: Some of this is past tense some in present.... mainly because as I remember it it comes back like it was yesterday.

My best friend in high school, Chris and I were out drinking with a girl named Sue, who knew of a party thrown by some St. Peter's Parochial school girls.

Well, I had a huge crush on Sue and thought cool, we'll go to a party where we know absolutely no one and I'll get her drunk and have my way with her. Funny thing is, I'd been getting her drunk for the past month of Fridays and Saturdays and besides some kissing and touching, the night always ended in frustration and me getting to know my bed sheets in a conjugal way.

She always made me promise 2 things when we'd go out, I'd have her home by 2 and I would never leave her. This party tested those rules, every other time they were easily follwed, even with the kissing and the touching and the woowoo eyes. No matter how drunk any of us were, she was home by 2AM.

Well, Chris and I picked Sue up. Sue's mom whenever I went in to get her was always lit up like the 4th of July. She could tell some corny assed joikes and would always tell me not to take advantage of her daughter.

So we were off and went straight to the local drive thru that never carded and loaded up on our 2 liter Sun Country wine coolers (hey Ringo Starr advertised it and who's more manly than Ringo so shush).

We went to the mall and cruised around in my 78 Honda civic and drank straight from the 2 liter bottle. That was our way of prepping for the party.

The party as it turned out was in Bennington Heights, I still know the house. Can't ever forget it. The hostess' name was Jenny Tadeo, I believe, spelling is probably wrong though, not that anyone but Scott/Flounder would know.

So, we get there. Chris and I know none of these people, as they are all Catholic school kids who acted inner city but came from money. We, Chris and I, were suburban kids whose parents never took us to any church and we frowned on anyone below what we thought was our social standing.

It didn't take long for Chris to go looking for women or for Sue to get her totally blitzed self. Me, being the nervous and anti-social person I am with strangers went down stairs where the "tough St. Pete's" kids were. It was there I met this guy wearing a black leather jacket sitting there talking and holding court with this very warped sense of humour.

I'd never seen someone act so tough, here he was, I assumed around my age, with what I remember to be a thick facial hair, not a beard, but unshaven for a few days.

I sat minding my own business on a very uncomfortable couch, drinking from a cup now, chain smoking my Benson and Hedghes Deluxe Ultra Light 100's and just listening to this "tough" carry on. All the while smiling and thinking, "I really need to find Chris and Sue and we need to go."

All of a sudden, he stopped, got up sat next to me on one side and a friend of his on another and he just stared at me. He stared as if he had found some new object he had never seen. I started to get up and he, very politiely, but authoritatively, almost threateningly in my mind at the time, said, "Oh no please stay. I'm just watching."

"What are you watching, did I do something," I asked in my mousy, get-me the Hell out of here, voice.

"I'm just watching. Where do you go to school", he asked. His friend on the other side kind of leaning over me.

"Lexington," I moaned... fearing a fight and my best friend is upstairs hitting on these guys' women who are apbout to pummel me.

The kid laughed.... "ah the pansy school. So do you smoke much."

I gulped, I'm sure my eyes as large as pies and my voice shaking, "Since, I was 12."

He scratched his stubble and brushed his leather jacketed arm that had just touched me. "I see. You do know that you aren't smoking the right way."

"Pardon me?" I said, actually with some amazement that I may not get hurt.

"Yes, we've been watching you for the last half hour and you light up, take a few puffs, never inhaling, and tyhen put that cigareete out, grab another one and do the the same thing. That is not smoking, Lex."

"My name is Andy, Andy Norris. I don't smoke right?"

"No man, inhale the smoke."

His friend blew smoke in my face.

"I see." Now I was a dead man, I thought. "But this is the way I have always smoked and no one has ever told me differently."

He laughed a laugh I would know years later. "well, you go to Lexington, that explains it. No one in Lexington really smokes." He emphasized Lexington, in a very mockingly manner.

"I see." I said embarrassed and sure I was going to die.

"Let me see you inhale. Don't waste another cigarette, you cannot leave until you inhale."

I was now the center of attention of everyone in that basement.

So, I grabbed my cigarette pack and opened the box and lit another. I inhaled deeply as I lt and coughed. That brought laughs and muffled giggles from everyone there.

"See, now that's not so bad." He smiled, put his arm around me and mussed my hair.

"I'm dead.... I can see the obits now, 'Drunk Lex kid found dead at St. Peter's kids party.' That was the headline I saw in my head.

I'm not sure if he told me his name, I think he did. I now know, some 20 years later, the name was Scott. He continued talking to me and teasing me in a way that became quite hospitable and made me feel at ease.

Then "IT" happened. Chris came down and stated he needed to go and we needed to get Sue out of there.

Now, where I was the quiet one never trying to make waves but somehow always would, Chris loved to make waves and would make even Ghandi want to kill him.

It seems Chris had pissed off some of the guys upstairs with his attitude and drunkeness and needed to leave.

Scott, looked at Chris and I got up. I thought maybe it was a relief or maybe I was in trouble. It was the latter, with Chris it was always the latter, I was always in trouble because of his mouth.

So, I stumbled and excused my way through Scott's audience to the stairs and went up. There were some big guys there. Chris, was not exactly getting welcoming stares, nor was I.

Scott and his entourage followed us closely coming up the stairs.

"Yep, I'm dead again." I though trying to do a Catholic cross over my body, without being seen.

Seems Chris had tried to get friendly with the wrong girl, the hostess, Jenny. Seemed she had a boyfriend that was a tad older and he wanted Chris' ass. Now High School girls have been known to flirt to get their boyfriends jealous. That could have been the case or Chris was just being his "I'm God's gift to women all 6 foot 3 and 125 pounds, with nappy hair." I choose to bleieve again, the latter, it was probably Chris.

I told Chris to go get in the car, I'd look for Sue. I walked out of the stairway, asking if anyone had seen her, leaving Chris to deal with his own mess.

I fouind Sue, extremely intoxicated flirting with some guy.

"Sue, I think we need to go." I said.

"No go ahead, I'm enjoying the party." She slurred.

Now, I was faced with 2 problems. 3 actually. First, people wanted to pummel Chris, who since he was my best friend, would in turn pummel me. Secondly, I had an extremely drunken 16 year old girl, I was infatuated with, flirting heavily with another guy, that I had to get home because I was responsible for her. And finally, I had this Scott guy, all 6 foot something football/roughian following me around making fun of me. I was sure he was the one who would do me in, but at least he'd have me laughing while doing it.

"Sue, we really need to go, it's 1 AM."

"I'll spend the night here, or someone will take me home." She laughed. The guy she was flirting with jumping up off the couch and coming towards me, not very friendly like.

I had to make a quick choice, so I grabbed Sue's arm and pulled her towards the exit with me. I didn't get far. The guy she was flirting with was in front of me in no time.

"I think she wants to stay." He said, with a true look of fighting in his eyes.

"Yeah, about that, I'm responsible for getting her home." I said, I'm sure very squeekily and fear dripping from my voice. Scott standing behind me the whole time.

I looked for Chris and saw him through the picture window, standing by the car outside yelling at someone. I'm sure it was more incentive for the person to kick his ass.

I looked at Sue, who had a smile glued to her face and her eyes showed there was noone home. I'd know that look a few months later, having had it in my own eyes after smoking weed and getting very drunk and stoned. She was at the very least very drunk, but she came with me. Yelling about how much she wanted to stay and that her mom was passed out anyway.

We made it outside, fairly, easily and just in time because Chris' yelling had brought out quite a few other guys who were pissed and wanted to shut him up before someone called the cops.

I got Sue in the passenger seat, smile glued to her face, yelling about wanting to stay. I grabbed Chris, threw him into the back seat and went to the mob and appologized profusely for the havoc of my friends.

I maybe wrong, the past being what and how we only remember it to be, but I honestly could swear on a Bible and die believing that it was Scott of all people that dispersed the mob, shook my hand, smiled at me and let us all go unscathed.

I pulled out, turned down Bennington and less than 3 blocks down had Sue at home. Walked her to the door and watched her walk inside. Not so much as a peck that night.

I took Chris back to his mom's where we crashed and he told me how they were all scared of him and how I should never have tried to start the fight.

I agreed and finished my 2 liter of Sun Country and passed out.

2 years later, I was to remeet Scott, we all would call him Flounder, after Stephen Furst's Animal House character. He was a fellow OSU-M/NCTC Lounge Lizard and we were to become great friends, him and I. I often reminded him of that night, he'd smile that smile I remember from that first night and say,"Shut up Norris."

He was and is one of the greatest friends I have ever had. I honestly don't think I have respected many other people I have known more. Nor, do I think there is anyone as harmless in this world as Scott/Flounder.

The next friend I write about I believe will be my adopted sister and great friend Laura.

Till then, I hope this story made some of you laugh, cringe and learn something about me.

And to Scott..... I am deeply grateful and appreciative we have renewed that friendship we once knew. You are one of a kind.

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I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"