girldetective

When my dad was actively dying, I arrived at my parents house to hear my dad ask to go outside on the porch. I asked my mom about that and she said she didnt want him going outside as she was afraid he would catch cold. I suggested we could bundled him up, but no. So my dad didnt go outside again, until he went into the hospice facility where I stayed with him. One sunny afternoon my sister and I bundled up dad and wheeled him out into the fresh air, ensuring he had a splendid view of his mountains.

As we were expounding about the mountains, we realized he was squinting and it was too sunny for him so I put my sunglasses on him. After a minute or two we noticed he was shivering and asked if he was cold. He nodded. Poor dad. We went inside after about 4 minutes. It had taken about 30 to get him bundled up, which took a lot out of him. I dont think he enjoyed it as much as hed hoped. I think the thought and anticipation, and the idea of freedom and choice were what was driving him more than the fresh air.

I believe dying people have things on their minds that we healthy ones dont. I believe theyre coping with things that make it hard to enjoy things as they used to. I believe often their attention is on their bodies, particularly if there is pain or medication or atrophy or shakes, or shivers. Lack of control and choice in their lives.

My advice to you, Skutch, like others have mentioned, is to bring the outside into her. I think it is the news, the world, the memories that are important to your grandmother. Certainly she may like to have the newspaper daily. If she cant read it, perhaps you could read it to her. It would pass the time, give her company, give her the opportunity to debate and you to learn about her, and so forth. You know, the good stuff.

You could make her a cup of tea, or a martini, while reading. You could have one, too.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata