You asked if she wanted to. Hun, that's how it's done. You ask, and either a)she accepts and you proceed, or b)she declines and you don't. You don't advance, retreat, or push. You enjoy where you're at. (and yes, I know girls can ask, too)
So forgive me, but I'm not following the part where you "know this was a rather awful way of going about this, and needless to say she got upset." It's been a while since I've been a 16 year old girl, but I have no idea why a girl who is already fooling around would get upset when asked if she wanted to go further. Unless she felt pushed or rushed for some reason. Some scenarios my friends and I heard long ago were "come on, all the other kids do it" ... "come on, we've been together a long time" ... "how long are you going to make me wait?" ... "WHY?" or "WHY NOT?" I am sure you are not that inconsiderate, which is good. Because those methods of persuasion can backfire. Girls can and do share information about which guys not to date because he has bad breath, he has a bad temper, or he is too damned pushy. Some of those guys had a little trouble getting dates later.
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Originally Posted by Studentech
*she doesn't seem to know why she's not comfortable with the thought of sex.
*but I wasn't about to force her into conversations she'd rather avoid
*(keep in mind we still do talk about it, just not all too often.)
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She's young, she's still figuring herself out. Just because she isn't comfortable talking about it with you, or doing it with you, doesn't mean she never thinks about it. It doesn't mean she has a "penis-phobia". But it sounds like you only talk about sex when you bring it up, knowing that you are going to receive a negative reaction. When you walk into the room, what do you hope goes through her head? What do you think goes through her head? Do you want to be the guy she mentally cringes from, thinking "here we go again"? That can happen more easily than you might think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Studentech
Now here's my question to you all, especially the women of TFP. Is there anything I can do to make her more comfortable? anything I can help with to make this easier for her? or is it just that she doesn't feel she's ready and that I need to be patient?
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You might not
mean to make her uncomfortable, but it sounds like you might have done that. It sounds like you do care about her, so I suggest this. Offer an apology for making her feel uncomfortable. Just assume that you did, even if you don't know what it was. Assure her that you won't push. Tell
her to let
you know if/when she wants to do more. Then just let her enjoy you and explore with you without worries of pressure.