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Of course it is up to her how far y'all "go", but her unwillingness to even have a conversation gives me pause....you might try bringing it up in a non-sexual scenario--at dinner, or when you all are hanging out (not fooling around) It may help her feel more comfortable and less pressured. If she still won't even talk at this point....well, then I don't know what to say other than stick it out and forget the sex, or go your separate ways.
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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata
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