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how long should you wait?
I was thinking the other day about dating and sex. How long should you wait before having sex with someone? Should you wait until your roles are defined clearly as bf/gf, or can you have sex while still "dating"?
This is an interesting question for me now that i'm single and feeling as if I have to redefine what I want or need in a relationship/partner. I was discussing this with some friends and the most popular answer was to wait until a month. One of my friends, who is quite old fashioned (no sex until you're married, etc.), thinks you should wait a year. I think that is too extreme for me but he had some good points... He argued that you should wait to get to know someone first, get your basis covered and established before complicating it with the feel-good emotions of sex. He said a courtship of a year before having sex was good so that you get to know eachother well before doing anything more. Do you think we rush things too much in our society? Would a longterm relationship be any more or less successful if you waited for a year, until you get married, etc.? What are your thoughts...
For me personally, I think about a month sounds right. I generally like to be friends first, so if I were friends with someone for a year, and then we decided to be together, I could see waiting a month or maybe less. In that sense, I think "waiting for a year" makes sense. But NOT in the realms of dating or in a relationship already...
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
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