Quote:
Originally Posted by Derwood
yeah, that sums it up pretty well. I'm certainly turned on by the "willingness" and "aggressiveness" of women in porn. In real life, if i'm going to get laid, then it's ALWAYS me who has to initiate it.
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Ever thought of making it a joint effort - in that, while you're abstaining from the porn, you're also doing things to sort of encourage your wife to initiate sex?
For instance, maybe leaving her little notes in places you know she'll see them. Or sending emails from work, or whatever. Just things like, "You're so sexy". Or "Thinking about you all day has gotten me so turned on." Just stuff that will surprise and flatter her, and hopefully get her thinking about the things she likes for you to do to her. Throw in a squeeze around the waist while she's making dinner, a caress of the thigh underneath the table while you're eating, maybe an "I love you" whispered close to her ear . . . just little things to stoke the fire. It may not qualify as sitting around watching SportsCenter and suddenly finding your wife has spontaneously scissor-locked your cock with wanton abandon, but marriage is compromise.
What's more, try to actually make it genuine; when you're sending those emails or writing those little notes, actually take a moment or two out of your day (if possible) to just get a mental image, something incredibly sexy or erotic your wife has done. I think one of the biggest problems men seem to have (mine included!) is using their imaginations to get aroused, rather than their eyes and ears.