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I think it's great you can talk to your mom and your cousin can talk to his mom in this way. It's a sign things are improving.
I'm not crazy about blowjobs either and my gf only does it occasionally. It's not a big deal. Porn kind of overrates it. Now, if she didn't like you going down on her, that would be a big deal.
Personally, I think a lot of women don't really get all they could from sex if they aren't participating, just lying there. Hopefully, they change when they get older. Sex seems better after 40.
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"Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege" Irish proverb
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