Okay, forget that last graph, here's the real dope.
"Alls I know if Lisa or some woman sees porn on that TV, they could sue me."
Jasper muttered to himself, a habit he picked up in the 4th grade. He spent a short stint with a counselor back then. If he couldn't watch porn on the TV, he figured he might as well sell it. Comparable televisions were going for $4500. "What the hell? I appear to have missed out on something here. My super fly Tiempo was maybe worth $800"
So he put it for sale, for less than the other HDTV's.
Within an hour, he had an e-mail. "Dude, I totally want that." Jethro came by with a check and a truck.
"What the hell can I do with a check? I don't have no bank account." Jasper was old fashioned. Also kind of stupid. And lazy. And not good at cards. So Jethro went to his bank and came back with a bundle of American Express Travel Checks. After patiently explaning how to use them, and what to do if they go missing.
"I had a dog go missing when I was 5. My momma said he'd gone ot live on a farm where he could run and play. It didn't make no sense though, we lived on a farm." Jethro said he was sorry for Jasper's loss. The loaded up the truck and 1080 pixels left Jasper's life, for good. He was sad, and kind of horny.
The checks still confused Jasper, so he took them to the 1st State Credit Union. Jethro told him any bank would be happy to exchange them for money. Jasper ended sitting at the other side of a desk from a well dressed woman named Cari.
"If you put this money into CDs, it will grow and you'll have fiduciary reliability for your retirement." Jasper was all, say what?
"I don't know what you just said, but I want a case of beer and a woman within the hour. Unless your bank offers that, and you'd be worth $250 alone if you're interested, I'm here for the cash."
Cari said no more and exchanged the checks. Afterwards she went into the restroom for a very long time.