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o i'll either say too much here or so little that it won't make sense...i left chicago, i left a relationship and a way of life last winter and since then have been trying to fashion a different way of being in the world, for now, in a tiny town by the ocean in massachusetts. for the most part, i've been aware of being disoriented and feeling at times as if i was in freefall. but lately, i've been figuring out that this was a good necessary and healthy move at more levels that i was aware of and that, despite still feeling dislocated and not at all sure that i want to stay in my in-between zone for very long, i actually feel strangely free. the only reason that's the case is that i think i'm figuring out, bit by bit, what to do with this freedom, which means in a sense that it's narrowing as it's opening up.
at this point, i either explain things or i don't.
i think for the moment, i'll leave it here--maybe come back later and decide.
it's a matter of whether i actually talk about my private life or not.
i keep things kinda separate, so it's a decision.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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