MrFriendly

I should first point out that over the years of my sexual ambiguity, I've never really thought of myself as gay. If I were to be truly honest, If a moderately attractive red head were to offer herself to me right now. I'd bang the %#$@ out of her.

Yet, some of the strongest feelings of love that I've had over the last few years haven't been driven by specific gender or sexual compulsion at all.

Some could argue that what I am, is in fact, polymorphous perverse. But I've never been keen on the idea of pigeon holing personality and preference.

So what's the point of this thread then?

Well, it's just curious that my strongest sense of bonding and 'love' in every sense of those words has been with other males in recent years. This 'love', for the most part, has been on par with my relationships with most women (with the exception of very, very few) which as been very 'close', but non sexual.

What I wish to explore is this idea, that of late, seems to be gaining ground, of bromance. Bros before hoes, mates before dates, dicks before chicks, that kind of thing. If you're not male, then in the words of Missy Elliot "I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it". Followed I believe by some incomprehensible gibberish.

Now obviously, I have no real data to draw from or theorise (look I'm an Aussie, we choose Queen's English, we just like the letter 'S' more than you guys) about. But what I have seen in my short life is personal experience that goes completely against the stereo type that guys don't express their feelings or tell their friends / mates that they love them.

My current group of friends love to catch up over a home cooked dinner, because it gives us all (most of whom are displaced from real family) a sense of 'family'. I've found this is often the essence of bromance. A last resort for young males with little sense or an absence of family, to feel a blood bond.

With some of my closest male friends, I've never thought anything of a man hug, sometimes even a peck on the lips, or other physical signs of affection. It's never really been questioned. But, there has been times in public that others have assumed us to be gay.

It's not to say we've become emo's or pussies over night. Indeed some of these guys I've witnessed glass a prick or two in the face. Never under estimate the male ability to be violent, especially while drunk. But my general experience, as a male, displaced, is that other males are more than capable of expressing feelings and communicating with other males, and to some quite deep levels.

In a society where 'family' seems to be less important, where individuals find it harder to form lasting heterosexual relationships, the idea of 'bromance' has become more important that ever. This sense of belonging, support, and relationship which has so become shattered in the modern world, I've seen many males fill that basic need in some very interesting ways.

Maybe this is just the way it is now, maybe one day family will be the new black, maybe this will go beyond what is now and 'family' will be redefined. All I can say is, from what I've seen, in an increasingly complicated society, individuals have come up with increasingly complicated (that is to say, compared to convention) ways to fulfill the need of companionship and love.

I doubt I'll ever have a 'relationship' with a male, even though I do have desires to sleep with men. However, I do feel, these days more than ever, a need to lean on close male friends for emotional and moral support over traditional sources.

I feel, without question, that this is just a sign of the times.

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