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mixedsubstance · 10-18-2008, 06:37 PM

I just hate the fact of if someone has an issue with something, that they have a disorder of somesort.

First of all, dalnet22- we need to back up to your childhood and upbringing. Does anything stand out or ring a bell that could trigger the thoughts you have today?

And, i don't want to give you the whole 'who cares how you dress?' or 'a real friend will accept you the way you are or tell you straight up when they don't approve'- While this is all true, that's not what you want to hear, and frankly (and sadly) that's not how society is. You tell some about a person on how they dress. Honestly- If you want to feel cool and good about yourself without question, do this: study today's fashion. Look at what guys are wearing and their haircuts. Look at magazines. Watch TV. This will give you a good idea of how people dress nowadays. And, of course, focus on those who are around your age. Then go browsing at stores. No rush to buy anything, just get an idea of what trends you see, what looks cool, and what makes you feel good when you try it on. Then, the haircut- if you don't already, get a simple short cut. Maybe a little spikey, but no more than an inch. It's simple, subtle, and nice. Can't go wrong with it, and you are ready for any occassion.
What you need to do is stop focusing on what is right and wrong, cool or not cool, and just focus on what makes you feel good. Clothing and otherwise. If women have told you you're hot, you need to take pride in that (without cockiness, of course). But what turns women off is if you are not confident. And don't pay attention to what they may think of you, you need to pay attention to THEM. To what they like, their interests, what they laugh or cry at, what makes them move. Once you are paying attention to another human as another human (not a judge of society or popularity wranglers) then they will accept you as you- because you are confident, cool, and you pay attention to them and know them for who they are as you would want them to know you for who you are.

Hope that helps some.

Also- have you ever thought of hypnosis? I really think that something like that will help you uncover the root of your issues, and to overcome them.

10-18-2008, 06:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
mixedsubstance Crazy Location: Where the wild things are.	I just hate the fact of if someone has an issue with something, that they have a disorder of somesort. First of all, dalnet22- we need to back up to your childhood and upbringing. Does anything stand out or ring a bell that could trigger the thoughts you have today? And, i don't want to give you the whole 'who cares how you dress?' or 'a real friend will accept you the way you are or tell you straight up when they don't approve'- While this is all true, that's not what you want to hear, and frankly (and sadly) that's not how society is. You tell some about a person on how they dress. Honestly- If you want to feel cool and good about yourself without question, do this: study today's fashion. Look at what guys are wearing and their haircuts. Look at magazines. Watch TV. This will give you a good idea of how people dress nowadays. And, of course, focus on those who are around your age. Then go browsing at stores. No rush to buy anything, just get an idea of what trends you see, what looks cool, and what makes you feel good when you try it on. Then, the haircut- if you don't already, get a simple short cut. Maybe a little spikey, but no more than an inch. It's simple, subtle, and nice. Can't go wrong with it, and you are ready for any occassion. What you need to do is stop focusing on what is right and wrong, cool or not cool, and just focus on what makes you feel good. Clothing and otherwise. If women have told you you're hot, you need to take pride in that (without cockiness, of course). But what turns women off is if you are not confident. And don't pay attention to what they may think of you, you need to pay attention to THEM. To what they like, their interests, what they laugh or cry at, what makes them move. Once you are paying attention to another human as another human (not a judge of society or popularity wranglers) then they will accept you as you- because you are confident, cool, and you pay attention to them and know them for who they are as you would want them to know you for who you are. Hope that helps some. Also- have you ever thought of hypnosis? I really think that something like that will help you uncover the root of your issues, and to overcome them. __________________ Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!? Without energy, there would be nothing.