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Your post is kind of scattered with multiple topics but I'll try to work up a response.
How old are you and what is the situation of these friends? How are you acting now? What is the problem with it? How do you want to act? What types of clothes are you wearing? What types do you want to wear?
As for friendships, it seems you regret your lack of intimate friendships. They're hard to find and most people don't have an intimate friend they can rely on. You may develop a few in time, but don't get down about it. I have found most guy friends typically don't want to be involved in emotionally deep conversations. Most want to stick to sports/politics/media...etc. and yes you should stick to the accepted topics that they discuss. You have to judge each person as an individual though. When you find the right girl one day this void will be filled a little bit.
As far as random people, unless your dressing outrageously or doing things for attention (which i suspect your not), chances are they're not going around thinking about you so there's no reason for the self consciousness.
Your not going to lose your good looks by what you wear or how you wear your hair. Confidence goes further than looks (though both matter) and in the real world you don't get girls on looks alone but a good approach to conversation. And really, do you want the girl that is only going to like you for your fancy clothes and the gel in your hair?
Try to enjoy yourself and become more comfortable with who you are. There's no reason to over analyze everything, it will drive you mad. I speak from experience lol.
Hope this was somewhat helpful.
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