Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Yakk · 10-17-2008, 06:52 PM

Did you with word or deed indicate that you found her attractive? Doing that (once, clearly and firmly) is a good move. An example of this is, while taking to her, with eyes looking at her eyes, taking your eyes off her face, and explicitly looking down her body and back up to her eyes.

If she is interested in you, that should signal that you are interested in her. If you do it once, after having a conversation, and don't make a habit of repeating it, it indicates that you are both interested in her physically, capable of controlling yourself (the once), and perfectly willing to let her know that you are interested in her physically.

Was there any casual physical contact initiated by her? Ie, did you have a couch that you where both sitting on? Many people like the pattern of reciprocal increased intimacy, be it verbal, emotional or physical.

The reciprocal part is where you match the increased intimacy of the other person, then continue slightly past it in order to indicate that you want more intimacy. The other person (in theory) picks up on this, and then matches and continues past it.

The effect is then both people are in control of the ramp up of intimacy, you don't have to be explicit about it, either party can withdraw by simply not ramping up without conflict, and as it happens over time there is less chance that it suffers a miscommunication.

This is all socialization 101-style stuff -- overly dry, and if you try to pay too much attention to it as you do it, you will come off as less than competent at it. But it can help you guide your practice, if you find you are socially ... incompetent ... at this kind of thing.

Note that such a ramping up can easily occur over multiple encounters. As noted, many people aren't comfortable with a ramping up of intimacy that is too steep, as that ... devalues ... the intimacy being exchanged in a sense.

10-17-2008, 06:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Yakk Wehret Den Anfängen! Location: Ontario, Canada	Did you with word or deed indicate that you found her attractive? Doing that (once, clearly and firmly) is a good move. An example of this is, while taking to her, with eyes looking at her eyes, taking your eyes off her face, and explicitly looking down her body and back up to her eyes. If she is interested in you, that should signal that you are interested in her. If you do it once, after having a conversation, and don't make a habit of repeating it, it indicates that you are both interested in her physically, capable of controlling yourself (the once), and perfectly willing to let her know that you are interested in her physically. Was there any casual physical contact initiated by her? Ie, did you have a couch that you where both sitting on? Many people like the pattern of reciprocal increased intimacy, be it verbal, emotional or physical. The reciprocal part is where you match the increased intimacy of the other person, then continue slightly past it in order to indicate that you want more intimacy. The other person (in theory) picks up on this, and then matches and continues past it. The effect is then both people are in control of the ramp up of intimacy, you don't have to be explicit about it, either party can withdraw by simply not ramping up without conflict, and as it happens over time there is less chance that it suffers a miscommunication. This is all socialization 101-style stuff -- overly dry, and if you try to pay too much attention to it as you do it, you will come off as less than competent at it. But it can help you guide your practice, if you find you are socially ... incompetent ... at this kind of thing. Note that such a ramping up can easily occur over multiple encounters. As noted, many people aren't comfortable with a ramping up of intimacy that is too steep, as that ... devalues ... the intimacy being exchanged in a sense. __________________ Last edited by JHVH : 10-29-4004 BC at 09:00 PM. Reason: Time for a rest.