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Just thought I'd update this.
On Friday I had my second gig and it went much better than the first. The fact that I'd rationalized to myself over the week that there was no harm in smiling at strangers paid off. I smiled to a few miserable faced people and even they smiled back. Just goes to show that it's silly to worry about these things. It also helped that I made less mistakes and did better overall. That way, I felt pretty relaxed about the evening, and I even had some compliments on my singing at the very end!
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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