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Kissing - when they don't get it right
What, when you kiss someone for the first few times, do you not want to encounter?
Kissing is wonderful and I think it's hard to kiss badly. But every so often I am proved quite wrong. Turns out I'm quite specific about how I like to be kissed.
Here are some things I have come across:
1) The slobberer - yeah, when he can't keep his saliva in his mouth and it goes all over you. I mean the occasional wisp of it outside the inner mouth area is ok, as is a lick here or there in the heat of making out, but constant slobbering on my face, is a BIG no no. Like if his tongue is already sticking out before your faces have touched, it makes me want to scream. I also wonder if sometimes it's due to mouth sizes not quite matching?
2) The dishwasher - The kind of kiss where his tongue doesn't do much else besides rinse, repeat. It goes in your mouth but no further forwards or back at any time and it just keeps on going, round and round in your mouth, until you feel like you're trapped in a whirl of salivary boredom...but you can't get out! Or in for that matter.
3) The lip sucker/biter - where he won't stop biting or sucking on your lip. Too much, and too hard. Some women may like this, but I don't appreciate it. I like it occasionally, but when it gets to the point where I have to say OW quite loudly and he still doesn't get it, I've had enough.
4) The hicky nut - ok, I'm not a 16 year old kid anymore. I don't like hickies. I don't like going to work and having people stare at my neck. No it's not a badge of how far we got. Yes it hurts. Bloody stop it already.
5) The pecker - when he will only give you little kisses on the mouth and when you make advances he won't let you get very far before pushing your tongue back out and resuming his preferred mode of kissing. I like variety thanks.
What are your bad kissing experiences?
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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