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Old 10-09-2008, 05:03 PM   #19 (permalink)
Supple Cow
Americow, the Beautiful
 
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Location: Washington, D.C.
There was this recent episode of House where a guy ribs Dr. House about not knowing how friendship works... how you trust without absolute evidence and then you are rewarded for that trust. I really believe in that paradigm of friendship, so maybe that's what has made this thread so difficult for me to deal with. The whole concept of this question upsets me; it has been upsetting me on some level for days.

I wasn't always this way, but I learned quickly when I saw how things played out for me in the last few years. Most of the friends I shared so many values with once were the first ones to jump ship when I grew up, examined things for myself and came to hold different values and beliefs. Then there were the few who surprised me and rewarded me for taking a chance on sharing the new me with them. These were the friends who looked at me like I was crazy as I revealed that I had been nervous to tell them certain things about my life. They were the friends who hugged me and said, "Well, yeah, it might suck if something bad happens to you because of your new ideas, but why would I ever get mad at you for being who you are?" They are the ones I call to rescue me in the middle of the night when I run out of AAA service calls for the year and I am stuck on the highway without gas. They are the ones I call on unexpectedly when I feel lost or as if I've committed a terrible blunder. And I would get out of bed at 3am and drive an hour to pick them up if they got stranded without gas too. Unfortunately, they are spread all over the country, so I can really only do that for one or two of them, but my point stands.

Beyond this essence of our friendships, if I had to categorize them by their views on just about anything besides whether they respect and like me and want to be my friend, I have friends that run the gamut. They are all my polar opposite in one way or another and they are all my peers in another way. One of my friends is a loud proponent of non-violence; another of my friends has a conceal and carry permit, with a pistol strapped to his leg at all times. Some of my friends are very religious and others are atheists. Some of my friends are very scientific and find non-scientists wishy-washy while other friends find science dry and boring, choosing to live an artistic life. Some are cat people, some are dog people, some are allergic to both. What does it all matter in the end? Each day that we remain friends, it only matters that we still like each other and treat each other with respect. If we really do, we learn not to get into heated discussions about the things we simply don't agree about. It's not as if this universe is such a boring place that avoiding certain topics leaves us with nothing to do or say in each other's company.
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"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
(Michael Jordan)
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