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I've read a lot of romance novels; not all of them trade in the fairy tale myth you propose in the OP. They do trade in archetypes, though, and some authors favor particular archetypes over others. A couple of my favorite authors, using a feisty heroine, often arrive at the conclusion that real romantic love is not a bed of roses, but rather comes with a lot of hard work and occasional disagreement (of course this occasional disagreement comes with hot sex afterwards). The hero in the novel may or may not be overtly masculine; rather, it may be that both characters just have a great deal of backbone. Often the hero or heroine has already survived what you would call the "fairy tale myth of love" and is therefore wary of further romantic entanglement.
I never believed in that myth. I knew it was a myth. Instead, I've always wanted to have what my parents have, which is a loving, functional relationship. They squabble a lot, but so do my SO and I, and it works for us. It's not perfect. He's not perfect. But he doesn't have to be in order to make it work for both of us, and vice-versa.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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