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The Fairy Tale Love
One thing that I can probably say for everyone in the world is that they've read a book, seen a movie, watched a show or listened to a song about some fabulous love story. Unmatched devotion and ultimate longing. Maybe it was some Disney animation. Maybe it was a Danielle Steel novel. Maybe it was a Bette Midler weeper. Maybe it was that really early John Cusack flick. The feeling that it probably left you with was that you really wanted to have the same emotions that those fake people in that work of fiction did. Amazing blissful splendor.
Now here's the problem. You turn to this real world that you actually live in and you hold every relationship you have to this fabricated ideal. Why can't I ever meet a guy like Richard Gere? Where's MY Meg Ryan? And all of the normal people with a real set of dimensions are standing there, watching you be discontent that you can't find this storybook ending to your exasperated search.
Ok, maybe the second paragraph doesn't apply to everyone, but I'm sure you can relate it with someone you know or the way you used to feel at some point.
My point is that our access to fiction en masse is shaping the expectations of people to have a certain kind of relationship - one that they've seen happen and liked how it turned out. The problem is that the perfectly matching pieces to the puzzle don't really exist. In the real world, you sometimes have to fit those pieces together by mashing them a few times and bending corners. There are always gaps and frayed edges, and then we take those with us to the next relationship.
I feel its unfair to have this fairy tale image in your head when you head out to look for your partner. I couldn't ask for a more effective way to make others feel inadequate while remaining unhappy yourself.
Do you have any experiences with this mentality?
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