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Ah, was gone for the weekend, missed this thread!
Hmm. Funny thing is, as much as my mom and I have never gotten along very well, she has always been extremely direct and doesn't really have a sense of privacy re: the body, for herself or with me. This has both good and bad sides.
For example, growing up, I thought it was totally normal to shower with my mom, and be in the bathroom with her (we never locked the bathroom doors, so we could always go in and out even if someone else was using it). So I became familiar with the whole period thing from an early age, and I knew what it was when it happened.
I was 13, but my parents were away on a weekend trip and I was at home with a relative--I called my parents when it happened and talked to both my mom and dad. My dad doesn't care about things being "female" or not, so he was fine talking to me about it... he's not easily embarrassed at all and was very supportive of me. My mom, on the other hand, freaked out completely and started crying and all the rest. That was more upsetting to me than anything else. It was almost like she was mad at me for having my period (which is something my mom did all the time, making me feel like something totally natural was my fault). Of course, in her mind she was losing her "baby," but jeez--I just wanted her to tell me what to do. I figured out where the pads were and put them on, and then went to write in my journal about it.
She didn't allow me to use tampons, since she had a thing about me "keeping my virginity" and she was afraid of using them, herself--but when I finally got to college (at 17) and had to take a swim test for the rowing team, on my period, I had to teach myself how to use one. It didn't work very well, and hurt really badly because there was no one to show me where to put it (and it was OB, to boot! Not the best choice for the first tampon insertion.) But eventually I figured those out on my own, and haven't looked back since.
Overall, I don't think that talking about puberty, sex, etc would have been a big deal, in theory, with my mother. The problem was that due to her emotional imbalances and her inclination to blame me for everything (including just plain growing up), I never felt safe initiating those conversations with her. It wasn't the topic, it was her emotionalized response to those topics. I still don't really trust her emotionally with anything intimate, because it always bites me in the ass when I do.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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