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I would not go to a traditional doctor for ob-gyn, but a midwife: no stirrups, no gown or cold table or bright lights, no chaperone, and the exam can be performed at home on the bed.
Better yet, I look forward to the do-it-yourself pap smear coming out in the next few years. One type is already being used in Africa. It will probably be suppressed by traditional medicine in the US because doctors will lose business to the do-it-yourselfers.
Plus there is the AMAS blood test (Anti-Malignin Antibody Screening) available from alternative health providers. This provides the early detection of any cancer without the humiliating pelvic and breast exam. Only downside is that it costs $500. Some insurances may help cover it, though. With a spare $500, that's the route I would go first before any ob-gyn exam.
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