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I agree, settle is a dirty word. It is rather derogatory as well, I settled for you implies that I could have better. If I heard my SO say that he settled for me, it would be like a slap in the face. I do believe that a lot of people do have enormous romantic notions and dream of fairy tales when it comes to life, marriage and commitment. I wouldn't expect every day to be as spark filled as the first, things do change over time. Our needs change over time.
What shouldn't change over time is the commitment, do you have issues in your relationships? Do you just ignore them and say, oh well.. I guess this is the way it will be I am stuck with it. Do you take the time to say, you know what.. I understand that you like it that way but I can't stand it... it really bothers me or Can we do it a different way? In other words, you need to talk, you need to work things out, there needs to be compromise on both sides of the relationship. That is the difficult part because you cannot exactly do it on your own. If your partner is not participating, it isn't going to work.
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