Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

essendoubleop · 09-03-2008, 11:03 AM

So I've reached that point in every man's life when his best friend asks him for some critical advice. He's been my best friend for over 12 years and tells me everything. He's also a notorious womanizer so I wasn't shocked when he told me that he got a girl pregnant. Now, he makes hardly any money and has enough time supporting himself, let alone another lady and a baby, but there's no way a relationship would work out between the two.

They hooked up with each other through Craigslist's random encounters section and both of them knew full well that no relationship would ensue. As luck would have it, she notified him that she pregnant 300 miles away. She said that has had an abortion before and it was such a traumatic experience for her that she would never consider it again. Apparently, she doesn't want to give the kid up for adoption.

This situation is particularly murky for me because I believe in doing the right thing, which normally would be for the guy to stick it out with the girl and help raise the kid. But neither of them want to be involved with each other and have their (understandably so) selfish reasons for choosing that role. They know nothing about each other and live on different sides of the Washington state.

At first, they had decided that she would have the kid and raise it without my friend's involvement in any way. His family is the strictly traditional, conservative type and I believe they would do everything short of disowning him. But it seems as though her friends were doing some talking and realized they could get money out of him to keep everything quiet and not take him to court or anything like that. She seems to have him by the balls (in more ways than one) and as his best friend it really bothers me. There's no good advice I can give him and I could see the misery he feels of knowing his future has become darker.

We came up with a few ideas like him moving to California where he can get a better job and possibly avoid the situation. But that's exactly the problem with that option, is he's AVOIDING the situation until he eventually has to confront it. He also suggested I punch her in the stomach, which incited laughter in both of us because of the absurdity, but I saw a glimmer in his eyes that was gauging my reaction. Other ridiculous ideas were him living with her for 9 months, causing her to go so insane that she has a miscarriage and telling his parents that some crazy lady was spreading false rumors about him to nick it before it was too late. The only feasible option was to wait it out and hopefully she gets a good boyfriend with money.

He's been there for me in my darkest hours, and it seems like I can do nothing for him in his darkest hour which sucks. I really feel little sympathy for the girl. Why bring another unloved child into the world when there are thousands up for adoption who need it? It's really uncomfortable that she's pushing for money so early the pregnancy too. Fact is he was an idiot for hooking up with her, but it's like he's being executed for stealing. Anybody have any advice for me or him, or should I pass along condolences?

09-03-2008, 11:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
essendoubleop Psycho	Friend over a barrel So I've reached that point in every man's life when his best friend asks him for some critical advice. He's been my best friend for over 12 years and tells me everything. He's also a notorious womanizer so I wasn't shocked when he told me that he got a girl pregnant. Now, he makes hardly any money and has enough time supporting himself, let alone another lady and a baby, but there's no way a relationship would work out between the two. They hooked up with each other through Craigslist's random encounters section and both of them knew full well that no relationship would ensue. As luck would have it, she notified him that she pregnant 300 miles away. She said that has had an abortion before and it was such a traumatic experience for her that she would never consider it again. Apparently, she doesn't want to give the kid up for adoption. This situation is particularly murky for me because I believe in doing the right thing, which normally would be for the guy to stick it out with the girl and help raise the kid. But neither of them want to be involved with each other and have their (understandably so) selfish reasons for choosing that role. They know nothing about each other and live on different sides of the Washington state. At first, they had decided that she would have the kid and raise it without my friend's involvement in any way. His family is the strictly traditional, conservative type and I believe they would do everything short of disowning him. But it seems as though her friends were doing some talking and realized they could get money out of him to keep everything quiet and not take him to court or anything like that. She seems to have him by the balls (in more ways than one) and as his best friend it really bothers me. There's no good advice I can give him and I could see the misery he feels of knowing his future has become darker. We came up with a few ideas like him moving to California where he can get a better job and possibly avoid the situation. But that's exactly the problem with that option, is he's AVOIDING the situation until he eventually has to confront it. He also suggested I punch her in the stomach, which incited laughter in both of us because of the absurdity, but I saw a glimmer in his eyes that was gauging my reaction. Other ridiculous ideas were him living with her for 9 months, causing her to go so insane that she has a miscarriage and telling his parents that some crazy lady was spreading false rumors about him to nick it before it was too late. The only feasible option was to wait it out and hopefully she gets a good boyfriend with money. He's been there for me in my darkest hours, and it seems like I can do nothing for him in his darkest hour which sucks. I really feel little sympathy for the girl. Why bring another unloved child into the world when there are thousands up for adoption who need it? It's really uncomfortable that she's pushing for money so early the pregnancy too. Fact is he was an idiot for hooking up with her, but it's like he's being executed for stealing. Anybody have any advice for me or him, or should I pass along condolences?