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Originally Posted by abaya
Certainly, yes... at least, the child-raising aspects, and how much work they had to go through to inculcate basic manners in me (especially on the Thai side).
Then again, the strange thing is that as I grow older, I also see in my parents some lack of manners on their part (at times)... a lack of awareness over appropriate behavior, appropriate audience, etc. That is actually quite difficult for me to deal with, especially when I'm in the same social situation, because I can't exactly correct them. This may be more a matter of culture than anything, though (in the US, you would never notice these differences, except maybe between socioeconomic classes--but in Iceland, yes, some things are different).
I've also had conflicts of "manners" with ktspktsp at times, perhaps because he was raised with a different cultural context of manners... we bump heads about these kinds of things at times, but it also makes me realize that manners (for me) can be a source of insecurity. If I am not making the right gestures, then I feel very insecure and stressed about the social situation. For him, it's not such a big deal--and I have a hard time relaxing about those kinds of things.
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Ooh, good point. Culture is a big factor in how we perceive and execute good manners and politeness.
Good manners aren't supposed to make you feel insecure though. It's just a social convention and construct to aid in societal interaction. But I see what you mean, especially if there is a mixing of cultures. For example, I was nervous while I was in the Middle East because I didn't want to offend anyone by accident. Simple things like, should I shake hands, do I bow, do I look them in the eye, oh my God a woman quick turn away eventually gave way to common sense and I had a good time there without provoking an international incident.