Originally Posted by abaya

Yes, that's how I think of it, too. I think I've always been fairly polite person (at least to people other than my own parents--why is that?), in terms of how and what I speak to others... that's politeness, to me.

But as I've gotten older and started a household of my own, I feel much more conscious of the need for manners. I think it's because when I was younger, I could depend on my parents to scold me/remind me of "manners," or I would be "overlooked" for bad manners because I was young and it was my parents' fault if they didn't correct me.

As an adult, I am responsible for the way I show respect to others, and also responsible for how others view me as an example of how to behave (e.g. students, younger cousins, and eventually our own children). I feel quite strongly that I need to be familiar with social rules/expectations in whatever circles/culture I live in, and to do what I can to respect those. I can't blame a lack of manners on anyone but myself.

Here in Iceland, a lot of manners have to do with social visits and reciprocation... there are proper greetings/phrases when meeting people, and when invited to dinner, dress nicely and bring a gift (this is a standard to me), and try to reciprocate the invitation in some way, in the future. I am never going to be comfortable with these "manners," but I know that I need to at least attempt to honor them while I am here. That is part of being a polite person.