ItWasMe

I'm going to guess that you haven't been together long, and that's part of why this ex bothers you so? Do you think you would feel differently, less threatened if they had been together for 6 months instead of 3 years? Maybe it's just because she was your first, but you were not hers. It may help you to address that insecurity if you know why it exists.

I think most people have had failed relationships. Sometimes because we made mistakes, sometimes because we were just incompatible. That doesn't mean the people themselves are failures or losers. So don't be so hard on yourself. Many of us handled situations differently in the past then we would now. The trick is to learn from your own experiences. And when you can, the experiences of others. That's what growing is about, which most of us are doing. It sounds like you are trying to do that.

If you think you are insecure and clingy, it is good that you understand why. But does she see this, and understand why? If not, that may be a good topic to discuss sometime. Some things you have to work through on your own. Some things you can work through with your partner. Either way, it is easier to deal with things when your partner knows where you are coming from.

I don't necessarily mean *change* into a different person. PunkMusician gave excellent advice. I am talking about working on your traits/reactions that you personally don't like. Not the ones that other people think you should change. Being happy with yourself is a good goal.

Remember you must be doing something right; she is choosing to be with you now.

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"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe