rammbler

Well, I really just want to talk about how he died. I found him on my living room floor dead in the spot that he was in when I left him. I guess I'll give a little back story first. We met when I started back to work at a place that I had left years before and he was now an employee there as well. At this time I was staying with my parents and depended on them for a ride to and from work. About the third day there I had to walk to work, I was about a mile away when he passes me on the road and offered to give me a ride which I gladly accepted. As we were riding the rest of the way in the in he mentioned that he was looking for a roommate and I moved in 2 days later. So any way we hit it off and ended up being roommates for 2years before I left and moved out of town. Now this whole time our friendship was more or less on a roommate bases we had our own circle of friends. I stayed gone for 2years in which time we kept in contact thru emails and such. Well, I came back to help him buy a condo where our friendship grew to where we became best friends. I really had never had a best friend before. You know, someone that you could talk to with out judgment or anything like that. So anyways, a few years go by and I meet this girl and we hit it off. I guess that's the way it always starts out. After a short time I moved in with this girl to help her out with the bills and what not, being as her mother just had her leg amputated. and was in a nursing home. Whoa, let me say that my friend and I were not living together at the time. So it's not like I had left him hanging with bills or anyhting. So I am with this girl and we are flaling in love and that whole thing. I dont know about you but Ive never really had tomany friends or girlfriends. I've always been kind of antisocial. I've also had this thing in my head since I was a child that you could only really care about one person. Or maybe it was more like I only had enough love in my heart to give one person at a time. If you can understand that. And that brings me to where I was falling in love with this girl and at the same time I felt like the love that I have for my friend was going away. And I have also felt that I could control things with my mind. Its more like imposing my will on thing and making things happen by willing it to happen. Its been that way since I was a child. Maybe it sounds crazy, I know. But that kinda brings me to my point. I was living with this girl, and my friend is staying with us off and on. And the longer that me and the girl are together the farther my feelings for my friend get put on the back burner. So one day my friend says to me something that really upset me and made me mad at him. And after that I really didnt ant to see him or talk to him for a while just to let things cool off. I never really let it be known to my friend that I was mad at him. I only told my girlfriend about my feeling, which I normaly would have gone right to my friend about it. And so for some reason or other he couldnt tell that I did not want him around anymore so he would come over and hang out and I would ignore him and that whole thing. So one night he comes in with a huge pill and says that its methadone. I'm like what ever I tell him that I had done that along time ago and all it did was make me sick and that I didn't want any part of it. So this night I really dont want to even look at him so instead of telling him to leave I get this painting that I was working on and set it up in between us as a kind of curtian and started working on it till I went to bed. We told hm to stay there because he had taken some of the pill and drank a beer. He said that he was going to listen to some music and go to sleep. I woke up at about 5:30 to go to work went in the living room and heard him snoring on the floor and thought to myself my thats a loud snore. And for some reason I decided that I was going to call in to work, so I went and laid back down. I got back up at 11:30 and walked back in the living room and looked down at my friend on the floor and noticed what looked like a hairball on his mouth. The closer I got I realized that it was foam. I froze for just a second and jumped back. THen I ran up to him and turned him on his side and his mouth emptied out and I could feel his skin was cold to the touch and the back of his arms and ears were blue. I've never been the first person to find someone dead. If you want Ill post what happend after but thanks for letting me get this out being as I dont really have anyone to tlak to . Thanks