I think there's absolutely a difference. I don't really mind poor manners, but being impolite is very offensive to me.
I guess that puts us in direct disagreement.
I really don't care whether someone does or doesn't say please, thank you, or whether their elbows are on the table when they're eating or not. Holding the door is nice, but I really wouldn't be offended either way.
I am offended, however, when someone thinks that it is acceptable to raise their voice above conversation volume in a public place, or thinks that is is OK to speak disrespectfully or even verbally attack me because that's how "they feel", as if their feelings allow them to ignore the fact that we're having a civil conversation. It seems to me that there are a dozen different ways to express your feelings politely, so I don't see why they can't take the time to tell me how they feel AND address me in a polite manner.
They still seem very closely linked, to the point that I kept wondering if I really was just describing two sides of being polite.
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