Quote:
Originally Posted by Samtallica
At that point, especially after all the talk here and my research in other places, it became pretty clear to me that this is her problem. How can I be expected to get her off when she can't even get herself off with a vibrator? Then it dawned on me, maybe the reason we don't have as much sex is because I try to make her cum every time and she just can't do that, so she avoids the act all together. Maybe her previous lovers weren't as concerned with making sure she got hers. It makes sense when you think about it.
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This actually reminds me of my ex quite a bit. It became apparent a couple years into our relationship (way too late, to be honest) that my ex had really not spent much time getting to know her own body or her own sexuality. It was almost completely foreign to her. She basically knew how to please herself but that was it. She'd rarely give me any feedback (besides the usual auditory cues) that I was actually pleasing her. So, I simply kept trying different things, but to no avail. In my case, however, she was hellbent on me doing all the work; she didn't want to participate. It was expected that I should know how to please her without help, etc, etc. Needless to say we didn't last for that and other reasons.
Not attempting to communicate better was both of our faults. That's a big lesson I learned.