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I think you're confusing femininity with submission to stereotype, a feminine woman is not necessarily demure and delicate and girly, screw that for a joke. Look at the Amazons, Venus, Hera, Athena, Bastest, Brigit, Ceridwen, Freya the list goes on, all of them beautiful feminine Goddesses worshipped by cultures for thousand of years no matter their role in the pantheon. They didn't care about being 'girly'.
The same holds true in the animal kingdom, female animals are usually the most deadly. This doesn't decrease their desirability in any way shape of form, if anything it makes them better mothers. providers and mates.
I consider myself to be quite feminine, has nothing to do with what I wear or what I'm doing but it's the simply fact that I'm at ease with myself. I find that self confidence is what I find most feminine, if you can close your eyes and go back to one moment when you felt gorgeous, truly beautiful, you'll get a little smile and your eyes will darken, you might blush a little and that's what I find for me sums up feminimity. Those small gestures, the placement of a hand the carrying of a heavy box balaced against one hip small almost un-noticeable things.
That to me is femininity, not a pretty dress or long hair but being totally at ease with the fact that you're a woman and KNOWING that doesn't make you any different as an individual then if you were male.
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"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"
"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."
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