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Yeah, I agree: talk to her. Let her know how much she means to you, and how much you want to please her, and that a few words of guiding from her would make a different.
Look, when I was in college, I was once in a relationship with a girl I really liked, but I couldn't seem to get her to come very easily. I licked and I fingered and I pinched and I rubbed and I sucked and I fucked, and it just took forever. She was getting fed up with it, I was getting desperate.... Finally once, I was fingering her, and she was getting worked up but nothing was happening, and she just screamed, "Spank my clit! Spank my clit, you fucker!" Well, I did, and she came like a hurtling freight train. We laughed about it afterwards, along with our floor-mates (who'd heard her loud and clear), and she and I resolved to just be clearer with each other about what we wanted and needed and liked. We stayed together for a long time, and it was great, from then until the end.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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