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Originally Posted by genuinegirly
It is more a matter of territory than anything, it seems. She is exceptionally protective of her 5 sons, and revels in the fact that she is the only substantial woman in their lives.
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From my experience, most moms feel that way about their sons--I think it's what creates a lot of the tension between moms-in-law and daughters-in-law in general. It's funny, because I always thought that my dad would be the more protective one of me--but he learned to let go pretty easily, once he saw that I was independent and self-sufficient. Mothers, on the other hand, seem to have the hardest time letting go--of their sons, in particular. I don't know why this is, really.
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Originally Posted by genuinegirly
This is the best advice that I have ever been given. We need to have a talk about this one.
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Well, I hope this is helpful to you, and that your Tt is receptive to it as well. From what I have heard, it takes a few years for some spouses to realize that the marriage needs to be the priority, not the birth family. It's something I picked up along the way through TFP and some already-married friends, and also through counseling. It doesn't apply in many cultures, where the expected fidelity to one's birth family is more important than anything else (especially when marriage is mostly for financial reasons, more of a contract between families than anything related to "love") but for me and my marriage it's very important.
Oh, and having someone to vent to can be invaluable for getting through those trying times.
