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Originally Posted by ghoastgirl1
Has it occurred to you that maybe you have resentment toward HIS mother because yours is sick? I'm sure your mother treats you as well or better than his treats him. Just a thought...
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Good thought. I've been analyzing that myself, but I'm pretty certain that is not the case. I have always liked and admired Tt's mother (Mum). I have only ever treated her with kindness. Unfortunately every time I speak to her when her son is not present results in a scathing, frustrated response. With every ounce of her being she tells me "get away from my house and my son" in not so many words. I was treated the same way when I would spend a day at their house when we were friends, even when we were engaged. I mistakenly assumed the behavior would end when we were married. It is more a matter of territory than anything, it seems. She is exceptionally protective of her 5 sons, and revels in the fact that she is the only substantial woman in their lives. When a wife steps into the picture, she does her darnedest to chase them away. This is how sis-in-law felt, this is how I feel.
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Originally Posted by abaya
...In the end, any conflict that you have with his family needs to be addressed by him, and with him supporting you... and vice versa, if he has problems with your family. I truly believe that the spouse should not have to ever confront the in-laws, since the actual son/daughter should be the one running interference and showing unconditional support for the spouse (barring abuse, cheating, etc).
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This is the best advice that I have ever been given. We need to have a talk about this one.
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Originally Posted by onesnowyowl
... but I just grin and bear it--and then bitch to my mother. There really isn't much else I can do.
I would suggest finding someone close to you who is prepared to listen to your venting about your MIL. It helps--a lot.
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Sounds like a good plan. My sister is pretty good at listening to me vent, seems to always get me laughing by the end of the conversation. I should make use of that skill.
ngdawg - what a terrible story. I feel for your sister - what a nightmare.