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Old 08-04-2008, 10:02 AM   #19 (permalink)
dirtyrascal7
That's what she said
 
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You need to focus on things that are within your control. Obviously, it's not within your control whether this other guy cheats on his wife or not. And as much as you might wish they were, your wife's actions and feelings aren't within your control, either.

What you CAN control... is you. You've mentioned a number of things that you've done recently that are out of character. Well, if those things become a habit, are they really out of character anymore or have they become part of your character? I think you need to sit down and make a list of the values and principles that you'd like to live by, and a list of things you've done lately that violate those values. And then never do them again. Period.

Secondly, I would try to take a serious look at your relationship from your wife's perspective. Is it possible that you're taking her for granted? People tend to act out when they aren't receiving enough attention... or they find other sources to satisfy that need. I think it would help if you stepped up your efforts to make her feel special and loved instead of villainous or deceitful.

I don't know whether you and your wife will make it through this, but either way... at least you can look back and feel good about how YOU handled the situation.
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