Quote:
Originally Posted by MSD
Pickup Artists (or guys who read The Game and think they are one) get girls, not girlfriends. I also haven't met a single one who went more than five minutes without giving me an intense urge to cock punch him. If you get something out of those books, let it be boosted confidence, not some formulaic system you're supposed to follow and keep score of. A relationship is not a zero-sum game, and cynical outlooks like the PuA approach and ladder theory try to rationalize away the irrational nature of human attraction and blaming it on unrelated variables.
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Thank you, MSD, for saying this. Mirth, if you go out and buy one of those books, you won't end up with what you're looking for.
I firmly believe the key to getting a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever is quite simple: Focus on improving yourself first, and doing what you love to do--whatever that is. Don't actively go looking for a relationship, except in passive ways, like going out with friends, going to events, getting out in the community. Instead of thinking it like "I'm too old, I need a girlfriend NOW", think about it like "I'd like to meet some new people." Not just girls, people. Getting out in the community beyond school and work is key--though getting out in your school community can be great too. Does your college offer social dancing classes? Do you belong to any student organizations? Do you do any volunteer work? Are there intramural sports teams? In your community beyond school, are there sports leagues through parks and rec? Even if you're not athletic, joining a sports team will introduce you to a lot of people (I'm not at all athletic, but I play ultimate frisbee, for example). A huge part of eventually getting into a relationship is just getting out there and making lots of connections first--plus, you never know when one connection will lead to another (that's how I met my guy).
And don't worry about the lack of experience--there are a lot of guys out there in the same exact boat. Heck, I can think of at least three guys amongst those in my acquaintance who are OLDER than you but in the same boat. Guess what--we all get that first person to love eventually. Be patient, lest your impatience come off as desperation--which girls can smell a mile away.