Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
But saving face is something else altogether--that attitude is certainly prominent in my own Asian family, though my mother has put a lot of effort into being able to communicate about these things instead of staying reserved (not that it's helped her to move on that much, but at least she can talk about it). I never thought about Icelandic society as having a "saving face" mentality, but it makes more sense, the more I think about it.
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Although it may be more prevalent in the Asian culture, I think most average folks go through the same turmoil. It's a matter of survival. As parents, we must prepare for the day our children grow up. We do, after all, raise them to thrive on their own. Some of us still aren't prepared and may have a minor breakdown or two (yes, I did) and difficulty dealing with it at first, but we have other responsibilities, i.e. family and children, and we do have to "save face", possibly for different reasons (?) than in the Asian culture. Sometimes that's where the strength comes from that allows us to persevere. We have to show our other children that we can be strong and competent anyway.
As you stated earlier, in time you do adapt. Hopefully, you have a life outside of your children so your heart won't ache quite so much.